


Without realizing it, I often talk in this blog in the feminine. Women, between us, we find it easy to share feelings. I think we learn from small. Looking back, when I was little, I see the holidays, crouched in a corner of the kitchen, while my grandmother, my mother and my aunts, stirring pots, it had life. In that kitchen, the absolute dominion of my grandmother, came out to shine family secrets, desires and sorrows, joys contained ... Cross the threshold of the kitchen magic is diluted. That kitchen of my childhood was a confessional.
Yes, probably why I am comfortable talking female here, because I'ma woman, but that does not ignore the pain of men. On the contrary, I admire his courage because I know most of the time crying in silence the death of their children, with a heartbreaking sense of a wounded animal. I admire those who are there, holding desperately trying to re-invent his life, raise their own, without being able to express just what I feel. It is impossible to generalize, every match is different, but I do not know, to me seems that men, at first, contained more or less but are removed at risk of falling deeper. It costs more given permission to leave the locked cabinet where they keep emotions.
My father, a man of the past, on those which were not in the kitchen never tells me surprised and maybe a little embarrassed now, 81 years old-is-crying for almost nothing. "I've become very lazy, girl, I'm not what it was," and instead tells me we both know that our hearts have never been so close.
The resurgence of grief goes through this, to let the feelings flow, whatever they are, before they become a bitter black on a rock so heavy that prevents us from returning to life. It hurts to see mourn a father, but it's so healing to do!
With every tear that we leave it lightens the soul.
have to hold hands with men who hide their pain and caress with tenderness to disarm, one by one, with love, their armor. Women have been clothed in many kitchens, but they are so alone with your emotions!
The longing, the desire to embrace our children is so bad that sometimes is almost unbearable. So. But deep down we know that, although nothing is equal and we can not embrace them, they exist. Scientists say that energy is neither created nor destroyed, it transforms. And that, in our times clear, sorry to burst. In those magical moments you can hear a little voice inside that whispers to us that love is indestructible, not only have the hours, days, years we've been here together, we also have a shared future. It is not like what we had imagined, no, but can be so beautiful! At the beginning of the duel, perhaps of little use what I say. It is with patience and time that certainty prevails. Twelve years ago he went Ignacio, has had to spend much time to feel what I feel. At first, the pain was so heavy! The change was so sleazy and gross, Long time to settle the soul after such a blow. A lot. During this long journey that is the match we have to transform in people responsive to love, because it is only through the vibration of love that we feel our hand to our children. A day comes when we turn to walk together, they in their plane, following his destiny and we are here, following our own, but as united as before. It is worth persevering, worth creating love and harmony, instead of throwing in the towel and let it slowly consume our lives. We must live intensely draining sadness to put hope in revival, to re-experience the joy of living. The more I feel more happy and content I perceive my child. More I think that honor. We who know well what is wanting to be dead, decided to come back to life by love, the love we feel for them, for the love that we grow, slowly and with effort, by ourselves.
I really had a hard time understanding that I have to watch. Exercising and eating healthy is good, of course, but I mean other type of care, such as talking to calm myself. It is not easy. I do not know whether for cultural reasons, because I'ma woman or because I planned well, I find it much easier to sense what others feel to stop and listen to what my soul needs. And I'm sorry, because every one of us is essentially a child is often neglected and sometimes abused. How little we respect ourselves! I, for one, which I realize I'm already failing and criticizing, like the evil stepmother of fairy tales. Instead of remembering my successes, my mind's specialty is finding, with the effectiveness of the best detective, my mistakes, by little they are. To counteract this trend, I decided long ago to spy on my mind. Do not scold or judge when it drives you to get in the worst, show the dark side. I do not want fights or trouble, she just does what he was doing. Sweetly and gently show her lighter spots, bright and beautiful. I work very well the trick of showing a picture of me, of tiny, three or four years. Is it easy to be kind to the innocent child full of life. Then I say I take in my arms, to protect it, the mime. And so, slowly, slowly widens my heart and soul, grateful, gives me moments of calm.