We are now in December. The light returns to be dim and the sun, shy, enveloping everything in long shadows. 12 Decembers have passed since he left Ignasi. To me it is a month like any other. While nostalgia and pain I have invaded many times the year is, without doubt, during the months of December when my soul takes stock. Open the floodgates of emotions and emerge, one by one the ghosts hidden and between, the value and the treasures that I keep hidden. For many of these 12 Decembers fear has been the strongest, which has caught me by the hand to take me straight to hell. I tuck, I have been visiting their corners and I've noticed, as I have been visiting every year, that the physical absence of Ignasi is what has given me the opportunity to acknowledge my fears. Those already long before he died, those who are mine, which go far beyond his departure.
is in December too when the soul more visible now, I feel gently on his knees and softly speaks to me of my treasures, all good things in life, love to give and I receive, long journey of the inexhaustible power in all of us. The soul, as a good mother, she never tires of telling me she will always be beside me, to live confident, that life does not end with death, actually what we call life is but a dream. As I stroked his hair reminds me of what I can when I would feel the love and joy. She asks me to remember how good we feel when the two, at home, with complicity and treachery, we vases filled with flowers, while in the kitchen boiling broth cold that comfort my family and friends.
"Do not separate me, girl," she says, "that is December." Do not separate yourself from your soul you, reader, that come Christmas, you might open your gates and need all the help of your angels to pierce the tempest. You might wonder: Do people come really angels? It seems to me that they always are, but I see them more clearly if you walk in the countryside or the sea, if I try to pretend, if I really listen and do what I want. If I say what I think, if I forgive and I apologize if my words hurt, if I want, nevertheless, to create within my harmony and peace. When no lo consigo, sigo sintiendo que ellos están, siguiéndome de cerca, justo detrás de mí, con los brazos abiertos, como lo estaba mi madre cuando yo empezaba a andar.
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